How to deal with a silent epidemic

Reprinted with permission from Bay News 9.

Bonnie McClelland is a suicide prevention advocate.

This week's apparent suicide of 18-year-old James Dungy, son of former Bucs coach Tony Dungy, has many people asking why?

Mental health advocates said suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people between the ages of 15 to 24 and yet parents aren't sure how to deal with the issue.

Bonnie McClelland holds up a quilt with 2,232 yellow ribbons. Each represents a person who committed suicide in Florida in 2002.

It's significant for McClelland because her 17-year-old son, Timothy, is one of those people.

"I think the nicest thing the kids told me was when he walked into the room he brought peace," McClelland said. "He was zen boy."

However, McClelland had trouble finding peace after her only child's death. In fact, less than a year later, she thought about committing suicide herself.

"It's like being in a black tunnel," McClelland said. "You can't see anything but your own pain. All the pain reflecting back to you."

Still McClelland said when she thought about the pain her death would cause others, she couldn't do it. Instead, she's become a suicide prevention advocate forming the Suncoast Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program. She said her main goal is education.

"It has nothing to do with your parenting," McClelland said. "Good parents lose all the time."

Grief counselors at the Life Center in Tampa said suicide is often veiled in secrecy.

 

McClelland's 17-year-old son committed suicide.

"Suicide still is kind of looked at as doing something wrong," McClelland said. "Not knowing what really is going on in that's person's mind that did it."

Mental health professionals said it's important for parents, friends and other family members to know what warning signs to look for like abrupt changes in personality and talk about death, giving away possessions, increased drug or alcohol use, withdrawal, a change in eating and sleeping patterns and chronic pain, either emotional or physical.

"My son left a suicide note that said learn from this and help each other," McClelland said.

She said she's back from the brink and determined to honor her son's last wishes.

Mental health counselors said if someone you know is talking about committing suicide take the threat seriously and call for help immediately.